Celiac Challenges: Explaining to the Non-Gluten Free with a "What If"

Celiac disease doesn't only affect the intestines. Celiac disease affects the whole orientation of one's day to day business.  
I don't always want to explain this to people. But then, explanations are inevitably dull -- it's like having someone lecture at you! I didn't tolerate that well even in school. Humor or a conversation convey meaning so much better; and they take into account relationship.
So recently, when someone asked about my gluten-free need (and remarked that their sister-in-law "wasn't too seriously celiac, she could cheat a little" -- patently not safe or medically true), I opened my mouth. Shut it. And then had rather a brainstorm, and launched.
This is what it would look like.
(And this makes the day-to-day explaining concrete in a second for all those inquiring, or less-than-inquiring, minds that may need to know how celiac works, and affects you.)
(Not all of these examples is wholly serious. In fact,  nearly all are somewhat tongue in cherk. But each is  meant to stop you in your tracks; to make you think. What DOES celiac mean if you're diagnosed?  If you're not, do you know how your loved one or friend sees things now - or has to see things differently? )

So...what if Moses had celiac disease? 

He'd have had to ask God or an angel if the manna was gluten free. 
No Nima Sensor in the desert.

What if Socrates had had celiac disease? 

He wouldn't have cared to ask if the hemlock concoction he was forced to drink as capital punishment was gluten free. 

It was supposed to kill him anyway. 

What if Harry Potter were celiac?

Would house elves have had to prep safe gluten-free meals for the great hall? He would have had to quiz them on cross contact. 

Is there a charm to keep your food safe from flying crumbs st the breakfast table? 

What if Frodo had celiac. 
"Is lembas  gluten free??"
What if Desdemona in Othello had celiac disease?

"Oh no. I baked it specifically for you. Totally gluten-free."


...well, maybe Othello could have enacted the tragedy without being quite so violent.

What if.
Goood question, right?
I mean, what if Saint Peter had had celiac disease? "Oh, er, sorry Lord...I can't eat that. I mean your body. Not if it's under the physical form of bread. With gluten. Just wine, thanks?"
Next time someone asks, share the funny memes. Or just pop off with your own example. What if Abraham Lincoln had had celiac?  What if Sherlock Holmes...? What if Doctor Who...?

What if?


Whole life-orientation changed.

Celiac may not be my identity. But celiac shapes my life to a degree that isn't visible on the surface. And sometimes, I don't even notice how deeply.



Tumbling Free,



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